“We live in this culture where everything is supposed to be so hip and so cool, and it’s not cool to love, and it’s not cool to take care of each other, and it’s not cool to stand up for ourselves. But you know what? Fuck all of that. I believe in love, and I believe that the only way that we are going to survive this fucking craziness that’s going on in our world today is if we just learn to look at love, turn our heads the other way from all the bullshit, and fucking love.”—Andrew Mcmahon (via kari-shma)
I have two choices. I can miss you back or I can let you go. I don’t know what to do. There’s just something about you that honestly pulls me in, it makes me want to know more. I want to break into your shell. I want you to let me in. I want to show you what real love is and I want you to show me what it is too. I don’t know what to do. I know getting hurt is inevitable. I know that losing someone because of it is inevitable. I don’t know why it hurts so much to want to be loved. I just want to be loved. Ugh. I hate when all of my thoughts are a blur.
Even after everything people do to me, I can’t look away. I can’t click ignore. I can’t be rude. I can’t abandon them. Once you’re my friend, or even if you’re a stranger, I’ll always be there to listen. I promise.
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Please cheer up. I love you more than anything in the world. I just want you to be happy. I’m sorry I can’t be good enough sometimes, but just know how much I love you. Life isn’t that bad. I love you so much.
I know it’s wrong and I shouldn’t still have feelings for you, but I do. They come and go in waves. The waves wipe me out and sometimes cause me to drift a little but most of the time I end up tumbling into dry-land hurt and dizzy. It still doesn’t stop me from going into the water.
im going to write in your ask box since you wish someone would hahaa. so your post from like yesterday sounds pretty much like my life and because we both feel like we have no one to talk to, i know this comes off as kind of random andd maybe a little weird but, if you want to talk just say so! <3
it’s not random or weird at all hahaha i honestly love talking to other people with similar problems or not.. about everything and anything. inbox me on facebook and we’ll talk. thank you for writing in this. you’re a great person even if you’re anonymous hahahah <333
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Dear every band I’ve ever seen live,
Thank you for the escape you provided, the words you supplied when I was incapable of releasing them. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for letting me be infinite for an hour or so before I had to drop back into reality.
Numb. I can’t feel anything anymore. Honestly too much is going on in my life to allow myself to feel anything. From this day forward the empty seventh grade me is coming back. I’m going to be a robot covered with skin. I won’t feel anything or love anything. I will lie to those who care because deep down I know that they’re just going to leave me. I know they’ll leave because everyone leaves me. No one has ever stayed to rub my back and kiss my forehead when I cry or repeated to ask me what’s wrong even when I try the “nothing’s wrong -smile- i’m fine.” I’m done letting people in. If you’re reading this and think; “oh I know what this is about….”. Newsflash. You have no clue. You won’t ever have a clue. I have no one. My own self is gone now. I’m just a body. Just nobody and I will continue to be nobody forever. Everyday there’s something new standing in my way. Every day. Now I’m waving the pretty little white flag and saying I give up. I give up on everyone and everything. I give up on myself most importantly. I’m an irrelevant figment of everyone’s imagination and I will continue to be this useless thing forever. Goodbye.
I always miss someone or something and if I actually grow the balls to tell them that I miss them, then I really miss them with my whole heart. I have a hard time getting my true feelings across sometimes, but I can sometimes verbalize the need and want for someone or something.
5442) I've been trying so hard to suppress my depression again, but it's not working this time. The only thing that makes me able to swallow it down is if I have a person around, because I don't want to bring them down, too.
I need a concert, I need to escape for a few hours. I need to lose myself in the crowd and scream along with my favorite songs. I need to unleash my inner animal until tears start running down my face. I need to take out my lighter and wave it in the air like there's no tomorrow. I need to surround myself with people who are in love with this band as much as I am. I want to crowd surf and mosh and headbang until I get dizzy and can't anymore. I want to dance until my clothes are sweaty and sing until my voice is gone.
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Dear most girls at Sacred Heart,
I’m sorry I don’t give many of you a chance, and don’t like you even when I’ve never spoken a word to you. I don’t mean to be shallow, but I’m only human. I’m trying to not be like that anymore. I’m sorry.